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The Royal Wedding Will "Suck" For Meghan Markle, Reckons Amy Schumer

The Royal Wedding Will "Suck" For Meghan Markle, Reckons Amy Schumer.....»»

Category: topSource: contactmusicMay 17th, 2018

Amy Schumer Thinks The Royal Wedding Will "Suck" — & She May Actually Have A Point!

Amy Schumer has taken a bold stance against the royal wedding. During a recent interview with Australia's Fitzy and Wippa show on Nova 96.9, the I Feel Pretty actress claimed that Saturday's nuptials between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will likely "suck." And, once you hear the comedienne's reasoning, you might actually agree with her! Related: Elton [...] Amy Schumer has taken a bold stance against the royal wedding. During a recent interview with Australia's Fitzy and Wippa show on Nova 96.9, the I Feel Pretty actress claimed that Saturday's nuptials between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle will likely "suck." And, once you hear the comedienne's reasoning, you might actually agree with her! Related: Elton John Will Be Performing At Harry & Meghan's Wedding! The Inside Amy Schumer creator defended: "This poor girl. Your wedding, everyone says it's your day. It's your day. She's like, no it's not... She has to meet all these foreign dignitaries she's never met before, there's so much pressure. Can you imagine having a worse wedding?" You know, Miz Schumer may actually have a point here. She continued: "That would suck. Her girls from high school aren't going to be there. It's like a parade, it's like Westminster Dog Show." Fair point. Although, that's kind of the price you pay when you agree to become an A-list public figure. To make matters worse, the build-up surrounding the royal wedding has only worsened thanks to the recent dramatics by Markle's estranged family. For example, after getting caught staging paparazzi pics, father Thomas Markle dropped his royal wedding duties as he needed urgent heart surgery. Half-sister Samantha Grant proudly took credit for the photography scandal AND has been accused of planting unsubstantiated stories in the press. Oh, and how could we forget about half brother from hell Thomas Markle Jr.?? You know, the sibling who wrote a letter begging the ginger prince to call off the May 19 ceremony. Despite this drama, it's been previously reported that Harry and Meghan are still "very excited" to get married this weekend. The show must go on, right?? [Image via WENN.].....»»

Category: gossipSource: perezhiltonMay 17th, 2018

Meghan Markle Has Some Seriously Strict Rules To Follow Now That She"s A Duchess!

Meghan Markle may've had the freedom to take selfies and sign autographs, but the newly minted Duchess of Sussex does not! As you surely know, on Saturday, the American actress officially became a member of the royal family thanks to her wedding to Prince Harry. Understandably, this means that Meghan's life has since drastically changed. Related: Harry [...] Meghan Markle may've had the freedom to take selfies and sign autographs, but the newly minted Duchess of Sussex does not! As you surely know, on Saturday, the American actress officially became a member of the royal family thanks to her wedding to Prince Harry. Understandably, this means that Meghan's life has since drastically changed. Related: Harry & Meghan Will Visit Thomas Markle In Mexico! In fact, there are all sorts of royal rules Miz Markle is now required to follow as a member of the Windsor family. We're being completely serious. Not only is Meghan's style now dictated by royal decree, but also the way she walks and talks. For a breakdown of all the royal restrictions, be sure to proceed (below)... 1. Under no circumstance is Meghan to take a selfie. It's said that the 36-year-old Duchess once told a fan that she and Harry are "not allowed to do selfies." Apparently, this rule is meant to encourage commoners to make eye contact and conversation with the royals. 2. As selfies are a no-no, so is personal social media usage. As you surely know, all news regarding Harry, Prince William, and Kate Middleton comes from the Kensington Royal Twitter and Instagram pages. Thus, ahead of her marriage into the family, Markle had her IG and lifestyle blog go dark. 3. Meghan is to keep her signature to herself. NO AUTOGRAPHS! In order to prevent forgery, the Suits alum is not allowed to sign any autographs. 4. Dark and/or colored nail polish is prohibited. This explains why Meghan wore Essie's Ballet Slippers pink polish at the wedding. Oh, and it's also Queen Elizabeth's favorite color. 5. Royals must ALWAYS travel with mourning clothes. This rule was instated after the then Princess Elizabeth and husband Prince Philip were blindsided by King George VI's death while abroad in Africa. The twosome were forced to travel from Africa to the United Kingdom in regular clothes. Nowadays, royals must always have a set of funeral clothes packed in order to be respectful. 6. No matter what occasion, female family members must always curtsy to the Queen. At official events, Meghan is also expected to curtsy to anyone who outranks her. 7. Short hemlines are a no-go! It's believed that the Queen disapproves of skirts that are more than an inch or two above the knee. So Meghan better toss out those tiny red carpet numbers from her Hollywood days. 8. Speaking of Hollywood, Meghan seemingly can no longer pursue an acting career. She represents the British people now, so she has an image to uphold (and we doubt an acting gig in Tinseltown will help with that). 9. Meghan is discouraged from voting in British elections. Although UK Parliament says that it's not against the law in Britain for royalty to vote, it's viewed to be unconstitutional. 10. Markle can no longer cross her legs -- in public, at least. She'll be expected to perfect the "Duchess Slant" made famous by Princess Diana and proudly carried on by the Duchess of Cambridge. 11. Meghan will have to throw away her wedges, as the Queen despises them! 12. Assigned seating for life! At any royal family gathering, Meghan will always be expected to sit next to husband Harry. 13. Dinnertime is at 8:30 pm! When dining with Harry's monarch grandmother, Meghan will have to be ready at 8:30 pm to eat. The meal will last no later than 10 pm. 14. Also, Meghan isn't allowed to eat before OR after the Queen. Guests dining with the Queen can't start eating until the monarch begins chowing down. However, once she is done, so is the rest of the dinner table. 15. Meghan can't just walk into a royal room. During family functions, there's a strict entrance line, which is as follows: Queen Elizabeth, Prince Philip, Prince Charles, Duchess Camila, Prince William, Duchess Kate, and then most likely, Harry and Meghan. 16. If the Queen's awake, so is Meghan! If Meghan crashes with Queen Elizabeth at all, she is required to stay up until the longtime royal falls asleep. 17. Monopoly has been banned! Supposedly, the Duke of York Prince Andrew previously revealed that the royals are "not allowed to play Monopoly at home," as "it gets too vicious." 18. In order to avoid food poisoning, Meghan can no longer enjoy shellfish. Now, not EVERYONE in the royal family adheres to this rule, but the Queen still does!! Man, oh man. We hope Meghan has this list memorized!! We're wishing her only the best as she embarks on her new royal life! [Image via WENN.].....»»

Category: gossipSource: perezhiltonMay 23rd, 2018

Size Six Amy Schumer Claims To Eat… Carbs?

  I won’t believe it for a second. Size six Amy Schumer clomped onto the set of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert to talk about life with her new chef husband, Chris Fischer. Schumer marrying someone who cooks food for a living seems about as healthy as Whitney Houston getting with her supplier Bobby Brown, […] The post Size Six Amy Schumer Claims To Eat… Carbs? appeared first on WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do?.   I won’t believe it for a second. Size six Amy Schumer clomped onto the set of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert to talk about life with her new chef husband, Chris Fischer. Schumer marrying someone who cooks food for a living seems about as healthy as Whitney Houston getting with her supplier Bobby Brown, but somehow Schumer has been able to maintain that trim figure of hers. Just amazing. Like all late night talk show hosts, Colbert talks to his guests like both participants have three brain cells, and what we get this time around is Schumer spilling about how she eats twenty-four-seven now that she’s with Fischer, as well as Colbert calling Schumer “Absolutely beautiful.” I thought to compliment a woman constituted as rape in Hollywood, but in this case it’s more of a fact than anything. I mean look at her. Wowza. Colbert mentions to Schumer that some people don’t eat carbs (three. brain. cells) to which Schumer has a fake breakdown requiring consoling from bandleader Jon Batiste. Hilarious bit. She’s hot and on top of her comedy game? Damn girl. Mmm. Even though she’s a tight, sexy size six, Schumer isn’t above poking fun at herself: I’m what you look like if you have pasta and wine. She also says of her new marriage with her dealer: He’s a chef, so he was cooking in Sonoma at Scribe Vineyards. So, I followed him there. Then, he was cooking at a festival in Milan, and I heard that they invented pasta and wine. So, I’ve just been kind of following him around getting drunk. For those who don’t know what the fuck we’re talking about, in 2016 Schumer put down pesky and obviously wrong rumors that she’s fat as hell by slamming Glamour Magazine’s inclusion of her in a “plus-size” piece: I think there’s nothing wrong with being plus size. Beautiful healthy women. Plus size is considered size 16 in America. I go between a size 6 and an 8. Young girls seeing my body type thinking that is plus size? What are your thoughts? Mine are not cool glamour not glamorous. Schumer’s vehement denial of being plus-size led some to believe that she’s a h8er of plus-size women, but Schumer maintained that she’s in a completely and totally separate category. She’s anorexic okay. Here she is on eating her body weight in pasta:  Photo Credit: Amy Schumer Instagram / Backgrid USA / Pacific Coast News The post Size Six Amy Schumer Claims To Eat… Carbs? appeared first on WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do?......»»

Category: topSource: wwtddApr 10th, 2018

Royal Wedding: Here"s The Full Recap Of Meghan Markle & Prince Harry"s Big Day!

It's like a fairytale come to life!! As you surely know, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle officially became man and wife earlier today! With everyone from royals to celebrities to the public popping by Windsor Castle's St. George's Chapel for the nuptials, we knew this royal wedding would be one for the history books. Not to mention, there [...] It's like a fairytale come to life!! As you surely know, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle officially became man and wife earlier today! With everyone from royals to celebrities to the public popping by Windsor Castle's St. George's Chapel for the nuptials, we knew this royal wedding would be one for the history books. Not to mention, there were PLENTY of dramatics leading up to the big day, thanks to Miz Markle's estranged relatives. For everything that went down at the royal wedding, be sure to ch-ch-check out the roundup (below)!! Meghan Markle's Dad Regrets Not Attending The Royal Wedding — And He Has Harsh Words For Shitty Relatives! [CLICK HERE] Will Ferrell & Molly Shannon's Live Coverage Of Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's Big Day Has The Internet LOLing! [CLICK HERE] People Are PISSED The Spice Girls Didn't Show Up — But Victoria & David Beckham Were In Attendance Looking Fine AF! [CLICK HERE] Queen Elizabeth's Reaction To Hearing God Save The Queen Is EVERYTHING! [CLICK HERE] Prince Harry & Meghan Markle Will Henceforth Be Called The Duke & Duchess Of Sussex! [CLICK HERE] Princess Charlotte's Adorable Waves At The Ceremony Nearly Broke The Internet! Look! [CLICK HERE] Meghan Markle's Father Has THIS To Say About Her Wedding With Prince Harry! [CLICK HERE] All The Celebrities Who Attended Meghan Markle & Prince Harry's Nuptials! [CLICK HERE] Meghan Markle & Prince Harry Are Beaming In Their First Married Photo! [CLICK HERE] See The Dress AND Get All The Details On Meghan Markle's Stunning Wedding Gown HERE! [CLICK HERE] Don't Miss A Single Royal Wedding Moment — Watch Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's Nuptials HERE! [CLICK HERE] Meghan Markle & Prince Harry's Romance: An Inside Look At Their Courtship! [CLICK HERE] Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's Love Story Timeline! [CLICK HERE] Congrats again to the royal bride and groom! We wish them nothing but happiness! [Image via WENN.].....»»

Category: feudsSource: tmzMay 19th, 2018

Prince Harry & Meghan Markle"s Royal Wedding Album — Relive All The Magical Moments HERE!

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's royal wedding was like a fairytale IRL! After all the dramatics leading up to the big day, the newly minted Duke and Duchess of Sussex had a practically perfect wedding. Not only did the royal bride look STUNNING in her Givenchy gown, but A-listers from all over the globe attended the [...] Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's royal wedding was like a fairytale IRL! After all the dramatics leading up to the big day, the newly minted Duke and Duchess of Sussex had a practically perfect wedding. Not only did the royal bride look STUNNING in her Givenchy gown, but A-listers from all over the globe attended the televised nuptials. We're talking Oprah Winfrey, George and Amal Clooney, Elton John, etc. So impressive! For a look back at all of the best moments from the royal nuptials, be sure to take a peek at Harry and Meghan's wedding album (below)... CLICK HERE to view "Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's Royal Wedding Album!" CLICK HERE to view "Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's Royal Wedding Album!" CLICK HERE to view "Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's Royal Wedding Album!" CLICK HERE to view "Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's Royal Wedding Album!" CLICK HERE to view "Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's Royal Wedding Album!" [Image via YouTube.].....»»

Category: feudsSource: tmzMay 21st, 2018

Amy Schumer Feels Extremely Attractive And Sexualized

Apparently, being a woman is pretty rough. But being Amy Schumer, even worse. Long time fuggo, fatty, and unfunny female Amy recently had some hot takes about hot women. It weighs heavy on her heart that hot women have to endure everything about them being sexualized. They’re the real victims. It’s a good thing Amy […] The post Amy Schumer Feels Extremely Attractive And Sexualized appeared first on WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do?. Apparently, being a woman is pretty rough. But being Amy Schumer, even worse. Long time fuggo, fatty, and unfunny female Amy recently had some hot takes about hot women. It weighs heavy on her heart that hot women have to endure everything about them being sexualized. They’re the real victims. It’s a good thing Amy looks like a cat-eating Alf in the face, otherwise everyone would never get to hear her side-achingly hilarious “muh vagina” jokes. The men would be too busy hitting on her to ever let her finish a set. Thank goodness she keeps all the horn dogs distracted by being the perpetually bloated blonde anomaly. Amy Schumer is getting candid about the difficulties women face in society.“Being a woman sucks. It’s very difficult… We’re sexualized all the time, even when it seems crazy,” Schumer said. “I feel really bad for these girls who are so hot because guys can’t handle it. You can’t have a conversation, everything skews sexual and you’re gonna be treated differently.” Schumer said she now calls men out on their bad behavior, even though it makes her uncomfortable, because it could possibly help the next woman along. “1 in 6 women reports being sexually assaulted, but really it’s 1 in 3 women. So we’re not even like, is this gonna happen? We’re like, when?,” she said. Amy is delusional. She’s a size where the men in her life are more likely to offer her another slice of cake than dick. She married a chef for Christ’s sake. Maybe the statistic about 1 in 6 women she listed is accurate. But also accurate is the fact that Amy’s face and portly anatomy safely secured her position as one of the 5 women that won’t be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. I find it insulting that she’s insinuating all men will eventually take advantage of a hot women who told them no. But even more insulting is the fact that Amy is insinuating that she herself is a hot woman. The only time anyone has ever said “Amy looks hot” is when she forgets to take her down jacket off in a heated building during the winter. [Amy Schumer’s Hottest Stories And Pictures Over Here] Photo Credit: Getty Images The post Amy Schumer Feels Extremely Attractive And Sexualized appeared first on WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do?......»»

Category: topSource: wwtddOct 17th, 2018

Critics “Feel” Like Jumping Off A Bridge After Seeing Amy Schumer’s New Movie

Amy Schumer is now officially one for three with her movie career, because while Trainwreck stole the hearts of Americans who like dumb movies, Schumer's smoke and mirrors didn't work for Snatched, and with this weekend's I Feel Pretty, she's not only receiving horrible reviews and all but guaranteed to bomb at the box office, but is also offending people for her body shaming. We can't all have ultra slim barely-alive size six bodies, okay Schumer. The post Critics “Feel” Like Jumping Off A Bridge After Seeing Amy Schumer’s New Movie appeared first on WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do?.   Amy Schumer is now officially one for three with her leading lady movie career, because while Trainwreck stole the hearts of Americans who like dumb movies, Schumer’s smoke and mirrors didn’t work for Snatched, and with this weekend’s I Feel Pretty, she’s not only receiving horrible reviews and all but guaranteed to bomb at the box office, but is also offending people for her body shaming. We can’t all have ultra slim barely-alive size six bodies, okay Schumer. I Feel Pretty is being compared to Shallow Hal, because both movies star actresses who nobody likes. Schumer plays fat as holy hell Renee in I Feel Pretty. After a freak accident at SoulCycle Renee magically perceives herself as being attractive and thin, and proceeds to act accordingly. This leads to scenes of Renee proudly showing off her body (including while competing in a wet t-shirt contest,) and the gag is that what the audience is seeing is actually a body that’s offensive to all the senses and would get doused in acid in less progressive countries. Laughing at a fat girl who thinks she’s pretty. Schumer’s really reaching with this role isn’t she. Critics are panning I Feel Pretty – which currently has a 36% rating on Rotten Tomatoes – and not just because it isn’t good or funny in any capacity. The flick almost too perfectly highlights Schumer’s non sequitur platform. She claims to be body positive, but slams any h8ers who call her plus size. The lady thinks she’s a size six. She is Renee. Without ever having been inside a SoulCycle obviously. On one hand, body positivity is a rationalization for the obesity epidemic. On the other hand, for as stupid of a platform as body positivity is, if you’re going to stand for something, stand for it. Schumer can’t spread love light and cellulite around the world while also using a way-less-than-perfect bod as the singular punchline throughout an almost two-hour movie. Schumer, just think – what would Ashley Graham do. Wait, is Schumer making Ashley Graham make sense to me? Well now she must die.   The post Critics “Feel” Like Jumping Off A Bridge After Seeing Amy Schumer’s New Movie appeared first on WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do?......»»

Category: topSource: wwtddApr 20th, 2018

Amy Schumer Reminds Women To Love Their Body Fat

Amy Schumer wants to bask in all of her hideous glory. Her attitude is just as huge as the last pair of jeans she purchased. What did you expect from a woman who hasn’t fit a size 16 since she was 16. Big girl. Big attitude. Big mistake if you’re shaving some pounds off of […] The post Amy Schumer Reminds Women To Love Their Body Fat appeared first on WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do?. Amy Schumer wants to bask in all of her hideous glory. Her attitude is just as huge as the last pair of jeans she purchased. What did you expect from a woman who hasn’t fit a size 16 since she was 16. Big girl. Big attitude. Big mistake if you’re shaving some pounds off of her in photoshop. For Amy, fat is meant to be flaunted. At least that’s what she wants you to think. Amy shamed an instagram account for making her “Insta-ready.” Which just means more acceptable to look at. Ouch. I’d be insulted too if I was exhibit A for a virtual make over. Amy is a walking “before” picture with no “after” improvements at all in her forecast. She’s just gotten older and gained more weight. She’s been working in reverse ever since her mouth started moving more to chew cheeseburgers than tell jokes. Amy Schumer doesn’t want to be edited. The star took a stand against society’s beauty expectations when she caught wind of an Instagram account that had edited her photo to look “insta ready.” “DM me pictures you would like to post and I will make them insta ready,” the Instagram account captioned a side-by-side photo of Schumer without and with the edits. “Like what [I] did with Amy Schumer? I will do that for you too.” In the edited shot, Schumer’s face and nose had been narrowed, her eyes enlarged and brightened, her under-eye area smoothed and lipstick applied. Well, the Emmy winner wanted none of it. “Woof,” she commented. “This is not good for our culture. I like how i look and don’t want to look like a carbon copy of this one type woman you feel is the best way to look.” It appears the Instagram account has since been deleted. I’m pretty sure God put Amy together faster than IKEA furniture. With a few screws loose and some parts that look out of place. Schumer should have just said thank you. Because dropping 40 pounds in the face is the only way a man would ever double tap that. I know she thinks she has the world fooled with a husband, but that relationship is just for show. They most likely pretend to have sex and just stick to the foreplay part where they eat pastries off each other’s bodies. Amy always wins at that. Photo credit: Backgrid The post Amy Schumer Reminds Women To Love Their Body Fat appeared first on WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do?......»»

Category: topSource: wwtddJan 22nd, 2019

Royal Wedding: Meghan Markle"s Father Has THIS To Say About Her Wedding With Prince Harry!

With family like this, who needs enemies?? As you're likely aware, Meghan Markle's relatives have done pretty much everything in their power to ruin her royal wedding. For starters, earlier this month, the Suits actress' half brother Thomas Markle Jr. penned a letter urging Prince Harry to call off the nuptials. Related: Lifetime's Prince Harry & Meghan [...] With family like this, who needs enemies?? As you're likely aware, Meghan Markle's relatives have done pretty much everything in their power to ruin her royal wedding. For starters, earlier this month, the Suits actress' half brother Thomas Markle Jr. penned a letter urging Prince Harry to call off the nuptials. Related: Lifetime's Prince Harry & Meghan Markle Movie Was Absurd! Then, Meghan's father Thomas Markle Sr. left her embarrassed after he was caught staging paparazzi pics -- after the royal family SPECIFICALLY ordered the media to give Miz Markle's family privacy. To make matters worse, Markle's estranged half sister Samantha Grant went on to take credit for the photography scandal. Oh, and Grant has been accused of planting unsubstantiated stories in the news. Smh. As Meghan's loved ones can't stay away from the limelight, we can't say we're surprised that the Markle patriarch has already commented on the royal wedding. For his reactions to the highly publicized nuptials, be sure to proceed (below)! During a chat with TMZ, the reclusive industry vet noted that he was "emotional and joyful" while watching the wedding. He noted: "My baby looks beautiful and she looks very happy. I wish I were there and I wish them all my love and all happiness." In case you missed it, following his scandal, Markle was forced to drop out of the royal wedding due to an urgent health scare. In fact, Meghan's poppa had to undergo heart surgery. Thus, Prince Charles walked the American actress down the aisle! Despite the recent dramatics, the royal wedding went off without a hitch! We couldn't be happier for Harry and Meghan! [Image via WENN.].....»»

Category: gossipSource: perezhiltonMay 19th, 2018

It"s Official! Prince Charles Will Walk Meghan Markle Down The Aisle In Lieu Of Her Father!

Prince Charles is taking over Thomas Markle's royal wedding duties! Yup, on Friday, Kensington Palace issued a statement revealing that Meghan Markle has asked her soon to be father-in-law to walk her down the aisle on May 19. WOW. Photos: Meghan & More Celebs Who Quit Acting! As you surely know, Miz Markle was originally supposed to be [...] Prince Charles is taking over Thomas Markle's royal wedding duties! Yup, on Friday, Kensington Palace issued a statement revealing that Meghan Markle has asked her soon to be father-in-law to walk her down the aisle on May 19. WOW. Photos: Meghan & More Celebs Who Quit Acting! As you surely know, Miz Markle was originally supposed to be escorted by her reclusive father. However, after a scandal involving the paparazzi and an urgent health scare, the Hollywood cinematographer announced that he was unable to attend the royal wedding. While Mr. Markle encouraged Meghan to hand mother Doria Ragland his wedding duties, it appears that Princess Diana's ex husband has stepped up to take on the role. The palace issued the following on the update: "Ms. Meghan Markle has asked His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales to accompany her down the aisle of the Quire of St George's Chapel on her Wedding Day. The Prince of Wales is pleased to be able to welcome Ms. Markle to The Royal Family in this way." An update on the #RoyalWedding: pic.twitter.com/wfJ6ZFyzHi — Kensington Palace (@KensingtonRoyal) May 18, 2018 The show must go on, right?? Still, it sounds like the Suits star is truly touched by Charles' willingness to participate. A royal insider spilled to People: "It was Meghan's wish and she is grateful for the Prince of Wales to be doing it." Awwwwww. It's said that, during the earlier part of the procession, Meghan will be escorted by just her bridesmaids and page boys (which includes Prince George and Princess Charlotte). Once the American actress reaches the Quire, she'll be greeted by Prince Charles and brought to royal bridegroom Prince Harry. We honestly think it's wonderful that the 69-year-old Prince of Wales is doing this for Meghan, especially since this isn't his first royal wedding! Squee!! [Image via WENN.].....»»

Category: gossipSource: perezhiltonMay 18th, 2018

Meghan Markle"s Father Publicly Accuses The Royal Family Of Cutting Him Off From His Daughter

Thomas Markle just sat down — again — for another very public media interview in which he asserts Meghan Markle and the royal family have cut him off from ALL communications. The Duchess of Sussex's biological father asserts in a damning new interview with The Daily Mail that he won't stop pursuing Meghan even if the [...] Thomas Markle just sat down -- again -- for another very public media interview in which he asserts Meghan Markle and the royal family have cut him off from ALL communications. The Duchess of Sussex's biological father asserts in a damning new interview with The Daily Mail that he won't stop pursuing Meghan even if the royal fam has completely cut him off from his daughter. Related: Meghan Totally Approves Of Nick Jonas & Priyanka Chopra's Engagement! Speaking to the publication, Markle said about being cut off (below): "I'm really hurt that she's cut me off completely. I used to have a phone number and text number for her personal aides at the Palace, but after I said a few critical words about the Royal Family changing Meghan, they cut me off." Hmmm.. And Thomas reveals he has thought about mailing Meghan things, too, though it's unlikely they'd get to her: "I thought about sending it by Priority Mail Express, but the Palace would probably just soak it in water for three days to make sure it doesn't explode." Uhhh... OK! Related: Meghan's Sister Defends "Cashing In" On The Duchess' Fame That's not the weirdest part, though -- Thomas clearly has a bone to pick about getting perhaps locked out of seeing his grand child at some point next year or soon thereafter (below): "[It would be] easier for Meghan if I died. Everyone would be filled with sympathy for her. But I hope we reconcile. I'd hate to die without speaking to Meghan again. What's sad is that some time in the next year Meghan and Harry will have a baby and I'll be a grandfather. And if we're not speaking, I won't see my grandchild. How tragic is that—to deprive a child of its grandfather because I said a few things critical of the Royal Family?" Wow! And later, he turned the whole thing into a pity party, criticizing Meghan for not properly thanking him for the way he raised her (below): "They want me to be silent, they want me to just go away. But I won't be silenced. I refuse to stay quiet. What riles me is Meghan's sense of superiority. She'd be nothing without me. I made her the Duchess she is today. Everything that Meghan is, I made her. And did I get any recognition for it? Any thanks? She doesn't even speak to me now. How cold is that?" Yikes... Not good. Related: The ULTIMATE Royal Quiz! And also not done! How about invoking Princess Diana's name in this whole mess for Thomas, too (below): "[The Royal Family] have Meghan treating her father in a way that Harry's mother, Princess Diana, would have loathed. That's not what Diana stood for. Princess Diana is credited with changing the Royal Family, but she wasn't perfect. She was still very much one of them. I think Meghan's the one who'll bring them into the 21st Century, if they'll let her." Wow... Controversial, to say the least!!!! What do U think, Perezcious readers?! Let us know your opinions in the comments (below)... [Image via WENN.].....»»

Category: gossipSource: perezhiltonJul 29th, 2018

And The Bride Wore Size Six

Congratulations are in order for size six Amy Schumer. Only four months after announcing that she was about to do herself in by dating a chef, Chris Fischer, Schumer has confirmed that she and her eventual cause of death tied the knot in Malibu yesterday just in time for Valentine’s Day and a school shooting. After […] The post And The Bride Wore Size Six appeared first on WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do?. Congratulations are in order for size six Amy Schumer. Only four months after announcing that she was about to do herself in by dating a chef, Chris Fischer, Schumer has confirmed that she and her eventual cause of death tied the knot in Malibu yesterday just in time for Valentine’s Day and a school shooting. After seeing these pictures Fischer probably wishes that he could have had some sort of combined ceremony with the latter event, because they truly, inescapably drive the point home that he is married to Amy Schumer. He, a man with male genitalia who is attracted to women, is married to Amy Schumer. It’s like he picked up a potato in the kitchen one day and said “Wow. Now if only you also told unfunny jokes I would wreck you.” Schumer picked out her dress from the lace grill cover collection at Ace Hardware and the event was attended by a ton of celebrities including Chelsea Handler, Jennifer Aniston, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Jennifer Lawrence. I recognize many of the women in these wedding pics posted to Schumer’s Instagram as terrible comedians that I’ve been told to like, which is nothing if not a celebration of Schumer’s brand. Schumer also incorporated dogs into the ceremony, just in case people had any doubts that she was a thirty-something getting married. But really, I wish them all the best, and I’m just so envious that Schumer had the restraint to fit into this petite dress. That was my wedding present. Congrats you model you.   I am a size 6 and have no plans of changing. This is it. Stay on or get off. Kisses! pic.twitter.com/6IsEfFOwAD — Amy Schumer (@amyschumer) February 12, 2015 I think there’s nothing wrong with being plus size. Beautiful healthy women. Plus size is considered size 16 in America. I go between a size 6 and an 8. @glamourmag put me in their plus size only issue without asking or letting me know and it doesn’t feel right to me. Young girls seeing my body type thinking that is plus size? What are your thoughts? Mine are not cool glamour not glamourous A post shared by @ amyschumer on Apr 5, 2016 at 8:18am PDT Photo Credit: Instagram The post And The Bride Wore Size Six appeared first on WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do?......»»

Category: topSource: wwtddFeb 15th, 2018

Schumer Wants Credit For Super Bowl Boycott

Amy Schumer sure is a magical woman. I just wish making herself disappear was one of her tricks. Amy is to NFL Boycotts as Nicole Arbour is to the “This Is America” music video. Both females that allegedly claim to be funny inserting themselves into issues above their pay grade. Schumer really feels like she […] The post Schumer Wants Credit For Super Bowl Boycott appeared first on WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do?. Amy Schumer sure is a magical woman. I just wish making herself disappear was one of her tricks. Amy is to NFL Boycotts as Nicole Arbour is to the “This Is America” music video. Both females that allegedly claim to be funny inserting themselves into issues above their pay grade. Schumer really feels like she made a difference. And that she’s the main reason why no one wants to perform with Maroon 5. Levine’s voice is funnier than any joke Amy has ever stolen. If anyone should walk away with the award for scaring off Super Bowl acts and attendees in the name of inadvertent social justice, its going to be Adam. Amy Schumer gave herself a pat on the back, taking credit for no artists collaborating with Maroon 5 at the Super Bowl LIII Halftime Show. “I have done 2 Super Bowl commercials in the last couple years and I’m so stupid thinking my opinion would matter, right? Well guess what? I may have made a difference,” the 37-year-old “Snatched” star wrote on Instagram. “No one is stepping up to perform. Maybe they wouldn’t have anyway. But at least I tried to help out and do what other people are too greedy or afraid to.”Schumer called out artists in an effort to block them from performing at the Super Bowl Halftime Show in an effort to protest the NFL’s treatment of players who kneel during the national anthem — a protest in itself against police brutality against people of color. Would you do that to stand up for people of color? I may have made an impact,” she boasted. “You can write about sports and even be the best at it but what have you done to help the marginalized or under represented [sic]? I will continue to do everything I can,” she wrote. “Even with all the snide little white sports writers making cutting remarks.” The “Inside Amy Schumer” creator closed with a Gloria Steinem quote that read, “Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke.” I wish Amy would look into doing more productive things with her life. She’s 50 pounds overdue for a Zumba class. It would be a Christmas miracle if the woman would take out one of her Lululemon outfits that she uses for Starbucks frap runs instead of hot yoga and leave the rest of us alone. No one has ever taken what any woman over 200 pounds has to say seriously. She’s not this equal rights Rosa Parks superhero that she thinks she is in her head. In reality, she’s more like a Harriet Tubby who takes the underground subway to stuff her face at the abundant food stands in Chelsea Market.   View this post on Instagram   A post shared by @ amyschumer on Dec 19, 2018 at 5:51am PST Photo Credit: Getty Images / MEGA / Backgrid USA  The post Schumer Wants Credit For Super Bowl Boycott appeared first on WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do?......»»

Category: topSource: wwtddDec 27th, 2018

Amy Schumer Meltdown Now Includes Crazy Joke Stealing Denial

Hey Amy. Here's one for your next set. Three comedians walk into a bar. Then Amy Schumer steals their jokes. The post Amy Schumer Meltdown Now Includes Crazy Joke Stealing Denial appeared first on WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do?.   View this post on Instagram   Attn trolls! Warning this post references the dirty sanchez and a rusty trombone. ( I’m going to be a mother) 2nd warning if you are a sane person who values logic and don’t look to putting down strangers as a way to distract you from your own Unhappiness you should skip this post! A post shared by @ amyschumer on Oct 31, 2018 at 7:36am PDT   Pregnancy is one of the cruelest and most unusual concepts concocted by God and Jesus and Mother Nature, and basically relegates women to being sacrificial hosts for humanity. Without pregnancy we as a species would perish. Yet with it, women’s brains and bodies are scrambled by gestating human larvae. Then their taints rip through their assholes during childbirth. Happy Mother’s Host Day. While most pregnant women should be given all the leeway for acting crazy during their nine months prepping to recreate a scene from Alien, the recently-preggers Amy Schumer isn’t a woman. She’s the Piggly Wiggly logo come to life. And should be treated as such. Schumer’s scrambled Piggly Wiggly hormones are causing her to act out even more erratically than usual. Earlier this week she addressed Perez Hilton’s podcast with a good ol’ fashioned Instagram meltdown touching on slavery, the NFL, Old Navy, and Yahoo Sports hosts. Now she’s back for round two. But this time she’s not so much indecipherable as much as she is just a pathological liar. The vast amount of time on Schumer’s hands following her string of movie flops is exemplified by her admission to dredging the Internet’s murky floor, Reddit, for clap back material. Redditors are apparently still discussing Schumer’s habit of stealing jokes (video below) and she’s apparently still defending her content as being fresh and original. She captioned her three Notes screencaps with: Attn trolls! Warning this post references the dirty sanchez and a rusty trombone. ( I’m going to be a mother) 2nd warning if you are a sane person who values logic and don’t look to putting down strangers as a way to distract you from your own Unhappiness you should skip this post! “Sane person.” Something Schumer cannot currently identify herself as. You can check out her psychotic denial of joke stealing in the post above. Hey Amy. Here’s one for your next set. Three comedians walk into a bar. Then Amy Schumer steals their jokes.   Photo Credit: Instagram The post Amy Schumer Meltdown Now Includes Crazy Joke Stealing Denial appeared first on WWTDD - What Would Tyler Durden Do?......»»

Category: topSource: wwtddOct 31st, 2018

Amy Schumer Won"t Take Husband Chris Fischer"s Last Name for This Reason

Amy Schumer is explaining why she won’t be changing her last name to her husband Chris Fischer‘s! The 36-year-old comedian made the revelation in her Instagram Stories on Sunday (March 11). The video featured Amy‘s father Gordon asking her, “Are you still Amy Schumer or are you Amy Fischer now?” “Do you remember who Amy [...] Amy Schumer is explaining why she won’t be changing her last name to her husband Chris Fischer‘s! The 36-year-old comedian made the revelation in her Instagram Stories on Sunday (March 11). The video featured Amy‘s father Gordon asking her, “Are you still Amy Schumer or are you Amy Fischer now?” “Do you remember who Amy Fischer is?” Amy responded. “The Long Island Lolita. No, I’m keeping my last name. I’m keeping your last name.” Amy is referring to Amy Fisher, the Massapequa, New York high school student who became known as “the Long Island Lolita” by the media in 1992, when she shot the wife of her lover at age 17. She later appeared in adult films after her serving seven years in prison. Amy and Chris got married in Malibu, Calif., last month. Check out which celebs were in attendance here!.....»»

Category: topSource: justjaredMar 13th, 2018

Jennifer Lawrence Reveals She Was "Sobbing" Throughout Bestie Amy Schumer"s Surprise Wedding!

We WISH we were at Amy Schumer's surprise wedding. Thankfully, we have Instagram pics and details from the comedienne's loved ones to help us pretend we were present at the nuptials. And it sounds like the Malibu wedding was really beautiful. Related: Amy Wedding Dress Details! In fact, Amy's bestie Jennifer Lawrence burst into tears while Amy and [...] We WISH we were at Amy Schumer's surprise wedding. Thankfully, we have Instagram pics and details from the comedienne's loved ones to help us pretend we were present at the nuptials. And it sounds like the Malibu wedding was really beautiful. Related: Amy Wedding Dress Details! In fact, Amy's bestie Jennifer Lawrence burst into tears while Amy and now-husband Chris Fischer exchanged their vows. During a chat with Entertainment Tonight, the Hunger Games alum shared: "It was beautiful. It was very sudden, but it was, I was sobbing the whole -- his vows were stunning. It's when two people really love each other and they really mean it, it shows, and it was a beautiful ceremony and an amazing time. I couldn't be happier for them." Same, girl. Same. While J.Law was happy to be there for her good friend, she's a tad worried she upstaged the bride on her big day. Per the Oscar winner, the pink dress she wore to the wedding was accidentally undone for most of the bash. She quipped: "Notice my shirt was accidentally undone the whole time. In every wedding photo all of my buttons were undone. It looks like I was like, 'Oh, you thought this was going to be about you?'" HIGHlarious! In regards to Amy's wedding venue of choice, the Red Sparrow star noted it had a "beachy" vibe. However, it's unlikely that Jennifer will copy the Inside Amy Schumer creator's aesthetic as the beach really isn't her thing. The blonde stunner added: "A couple people wanted to go down and walk on the beach and I was like, 'No. I don't get the beach. I just don't care.'" HA!! Fingers crossed we get invited to the vow renewals!! [Image via Instagram.].....»»

Category: gossipSource: perezhiltonFeb 15th, 2018

Catch Up On All The Royal Wedding Drama — Everything We Know So Far!

You couldn't PAY US to deal with Meghan Markle's family! As you surely saw, the Suits actress' family has been making SEVERAL headlines these past few days. For starters, there is Meghan's father Thomas Markle, who was caught staging paparazzi pics — after the royal family SPECIFICALLY ordered the media to give Miz Markle's family privacy. [...] You couldn't PAY US to deal with Meghan Markle's family! As you surely saw, the Suits actress' family has been making SEVERAL headlines these past few days. For starters, there is Meghan's father Thomas Markle, who was caught staging paparazzi pics -- after the royal family SPECIFICALLY ordered the media to give Miz Markle's family privacy. He's since pulled out of the royal wedding, but now wants back his job of walking the American divorcée down the aisle. Then, Meghan's half sister Samantha Grant was accused of planting unsubstantiated stories in the news. Oh, and how could we forget about half brother Thomas Markle Jr.?? You know, the sibling who penned a letter imploring Prince Harry to call off the nuptials!! For all that drama and more, be sure to discover everything we know so far (below): Now Meghan Markle's Dad Wants To Walk His Daughter Down The Aisle [CLICK HERE] Meghan's Father Reportedly On The Verge Of Another Heart Attack! [CLICK HERE] Meghan's Mom Quits Her Job Just Days Before The Royal Wedding! [CLICK HERE] Meghan CANNOT Deal With Her Father's Photo Staging Scandal! [CLICK HERE] Meghan's Father No Longer Attending Wedding & Recently Suffered A Heart Attack [CLICK HERE] Meghan's Half-Sister Owns Up To Arranging Those Staged Paparazzi Pics! [CLICK HERE] Thomas Markle Caught Staging Pap Pics For A BIG Payday [CLICK HERE] Meghan's Half-Brother Urges Prince Harry To Call Off Upcoming Nuptials [CLICK HERE] [Image via WENN.].....»»

Category: gossipSource: perezhiltonMay 15th, 2018

The Royal Wedding Will "Suck" For Meghan Markle, Reckons Amy Schumer

The Royal Wedding Will "Suck" For Meghan Markle, Reckons Amy Schumer.....»»

Category: topSource: contactmusicMay 17th, 2018

Amy Schumer"s I Feel Pretty Reviews Are Not So Pretty!

Amy Schumer's new film I Feel Pretty is getting hit with the ugly stick by critics, after the embargo lifted on opening day (often not a good sign). Reviewers consistently praise the supporting cast (in a delightful surprise, 4-time Oscar nominee Michelle Williams is apparently hilarious) and most think the film is trying to have a [...] Amy Schumer's new film I Feel Pretty is getting hit with the ugly stick by critics, after the embargo lifted on opening day (often not a good sign). Reviewers consistently praise the supporting cast (in a delightful surprise, 4-time Oscar nominee Michelle Williams is apparently hilarious) and most think the film is trying to have a positive message. Related: Amy Shares Text Convo With Jennifer Lawrence & It's As Funny As You'd Expect! But they can't seem to decide if the entire premise is hopelessly outdated or if the film just slips and falls and hits its head on the Soulcycle floor. See the not-so-body-positive reviews (below)! Abbey Bender, TimeOut: "I Feel Pretty lacks visual inspiration and runs on the fumes of one not-particularly-funny joke (this regular-looking girl thinks she's super-hot). Truth be told, for a wide-release comedy, it's a bit depressing." Kate Taylor, The Globe And Mail: "Schumer's actual chutzpah, so boldly showcased in her stand-up and sketch comedy, is not enough to carry this offensive conceit. The notion that the pathetically insecure Renee is an accurate satire of contemporary women is enough to make any feminist cringe." Peter Travers, Rolling Stone: "Is it really OK to get off making plus-size jokes just because you tack on a moralizing ending that teaches a lesson about body positivity? ... The movie keeps jerking our chain, encouraging us first to chuckle snidely and then feel bad about it. It's wearying." Adam Graham, Detroit News: "Amy Schumer is way too smart to be attached to a movie as clunky and backward-looking as I Feel Pretty, a flat comedy which attempts to take on beauty standards and issues of body positivity but can't think of anything fresh to say about either. I Feel Pretty would barely cut it as a sketch on Inside Amy Schumer." Kurt Loder, Reason: "As one of the dozen or so people who liked last year's Amy Schumer film, Snatched, I wish I could muster more enthusiasm for her new one." K. Austin Collins, Vanity Fair: "It's to I Feel Pretty's credit that Schumer isn't listed as one of its writers: it means we can get back to thinking of her as a performer, decoupled just a little from the movie's bigger ideas, which are indisputably the least impressive thing about it." Richard Roeper, Chicago Sun-Times: "Schumer is doing another slightly tweaked but virtually indistinguishable variation on the same wisecracking, self-deprecating, insecure, if-only-she-could-see-her-wonderfulness underdog she's played before. She's clearly in her comfort zone and she eventually wins us over in this uneven, hit-and-miss, broad comedy — but here's hoping the next time around, she tries something new." Jocelyn Novak, AP: "On the plus side, it's often a pleasantly entertaining ride with the always appealing Schumer, and its heart is in the right place. It also features a truly terrific comic turn by Michelle Williams (drama, musicals, now comedy — is there anything she can't do?) On the minus side, it muddles its message with an overstuffed script, choppy editing, and some unnecessarily over-the-top moments. Not to mention a sappy ending that actually comes close to contradicting its own premise." Will these reviews keep U from seeing it, or do you like forming your own opinions?.....»»

Category: gossipSource: perezhiltonApr 20th, 2018

Amy Schumer Makes Hilarious Intimate Confessions During "Ellen"s Burning Questions with Mom in Audience!

Amy Schumer took the hot seat during her appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, airing on Wednesday (April 18) and made a load of hilarious sex-themed confessions during a round of Ellen‘s Burning Questions! First up was the “wildest place she’s ever had sex.” And the answer was “my butt,” the 36-year-old I Feel Pretty [...] Amy Schumer took the hot seat during her appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, airing on Wednesday (April 18) and made a load of hilarious sex-themed confessions during a round of Ellen‘s Burning Questions! First up was the “wildest place she’s ever had sex.” And the answer was “my butt,” the 36-year-old I Feel Pretty actress said. Then there was “my spouse gives the best…” “Head!,” Amy said all while her mother Sandra was sitting in the audience. “Oh, that’s right. I did forget,” Amy said when she remembered her mother was in attendance. That didn’t stop her though, Amy continued to answer Ellen‘s Burning Questions without a care. Amy also chats with Ellen about her new movie I Feel Pretty and how she hopes viewers can find confidence by believing in themselves – Watch after the cut! Amy Schumer Answers Ellen’s Burning Questions Click inside to watch the rest of Amy Schumer’s appearance on The Ellen Show… Amy Schumer Celebrated Her Engagement at Ellen’s Birthday Party Amy Schumer on Finding Self-Confidence in ‘I Feel Pretty’.....»»

Category: topSource: justjaredApr 18th, 2018